Wreck
by Hana Okita
Summary: This is why you should never leave a healthily insane fan fiction writer, carrot lover, havoc wrecker, or simply saying, a GUMI Megpoid at home, alone.
1. News

_So … I'm back with a new story. Dumb of me. Whatever. So the main character is Gumi! She's a little mad in this fan fiction, mind you. _

**Wreck – Why you shouldn't leave a GUMI in the house, alone.**

* * *

"GUMI!" Luka called, walking around the house as she looked for the green-haired girl.

"Yes?" Gumi asked, poking her head out from the door that was painted green with a sign 'GUMI' on it. She was wearing her read glasses and her hair was tied into a tiny ponytail, similar to Len's but smaller.

"All of us are going for the trip you said you didn't want to go – are you sure you don't want to? It's two years, you'll be lonely." Luka said, tilting her sunhat. "We'll miss you, and you can't take care of yourself too long, can you, Gumi?"

Gumi waved a hand lazily. "Oh nah, I'm just an innocent, obedient, awesome and cool, good, nice, whatever girl, fan fiction writer, VOCALOID, carrot lover! What could go wrong, eh, Luka~?"

Luka's eyes were narrowed with suspicion. "… If you say so …" She muttered, "Well, see you then, Gumi! Take care, okay?"

Gumi nodded innocently, waving innocently, and put on her best innocent schoolgirl smile.

Luka smiled and hugged the young greenette. She then joined the others into the gigantic limousine or whatever –Gumi's range of view was limited, hey- and went to the airport.

Gumi went downstairs, threw open the door, and let the wind blow her hair around. She looked like a model. ("Hey!") Anyways, two white lines resembling cartoon-like tears flowed down her cheeks.

"FINALLY!" She sobbed. "I have waited until this day …" She looked at the celling, her eyes sparkling in an anime-like way, "THE DAY GUMI MEGPOID … REGAINS HER FREEDOM!"

* * *

A father looked up from his newspaper as he heard his neighbor screamed something like, "GUMMI MEGPOIDO REFAIMS HAR MREEDOM!" He looked at his wife.

"Wife, do you think our neighbor is a Gumi Megpoid fan?"

His wife shrugged, hitting on a button on the remote and watched the channel switched to something like a news channel. She frowned at changed it.

"I dunno, husband. But after many shouts, screams, shrieks and the sort we have heard, I have made a conclusion." The husband looked in closer as the wife placed on a serious face. "Yes, she _is _a Gumi Megpoid fan." The wife ended lamely.

"What is a Gumi Megpoid fan?" The father stupidly asked. The mother shrugged and spread out her arms, gesturing that she didn't know.

Their daughter looked up from the computer. "Mummy, Daddy, GUMI Megpoid is a Vocaloid." She said, pushing her glasses further up her nose.

"What is a Vocaloid?" Her parents asked curiously.

"This," The daughter smirked smugly, and turned her laptop for her parents to see. She moved her cursor and clicked on a video at random, originally wanting to pick 'World is Mine' but she accidentally clicked on 'SPICE!' by Len.

"Uh Oh." The daughter fumbled around with her mouse pad, and hurriedly changed the video. Alas, she clicked on 'Messiah or Desire?' once more by Len.

"OH CRAP!" She shrieked, trying to get away, but her parents saw a peach turn slowly into Luka's … err bosom, and Len appeared from crap-knows-where and err squeezed it. Hard. Well not actually … but whatever.

"WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU WATCHING, DAUGHTER?" The parents screamed. The daughter sobbed in a corner, while her parents continued to gape at the sexy Len groping Luka's boob.

* * *

Gumi grinned at the gigantic mansion that could've passed off as a castle or a palace, and rubbed her hands greedily.

"GUMI TERRITORY!" She cackled evilly. "GUMI REVOLUTION SHALL START NOW!" Then Gumi realized that she'd have to mark her grounds.

"Hmm …" She rubbed her chin thoughtfully, "Aha!" A lighten light bulb appeared, hovering over Gumi's head, cartoon style. She grabbed a computer by random and turned on Len's 'SPICE!' along with a couple of other Len, VALSHE, and whatever photos.

Gumi stared at the screen for a while, until a squirt of nosebleed flew out from her nose and she sprayed it around the floor with difficulty, before lying down on the floor.

"Gumi … revolution …" She mumbled, raising her fist and showing her thumb. Then her face turned and Gumi Megpoid fainted.

* * *

_I promise you the other chapters will be longer. May be longer. Should be longer. Shall be longer. Whatever. Anyways, the parents and their daughter would appear for a while, quite oblivious that a GUMI Megpoid is living beside them._

_For those darlings who don't understand the situation: GUMI Megpoid rejects a favor to go on a two-year long trip with the other Vocaloids, and affectively convincing a suspicious Luka Megurine (and the other unmentioned Vocaloids) to let her stay. She screams something about GUMI and the neighbors get confused/curious, like usual. So she's alone in the house/mansion/palace/castle, which was always her dream._

_So there. Decided to try it out because it was fun. I'm pretty sure you guys know about SPICE! So I don't care about explaining, but if you wanna watch Messiah or Desire? Don't. The part about the peach turning into Luka's boob is true. And when I was (quite) new to Vocaloid and still not a die-hard shipper, I saw that video and went all O^O I'll never ship LenLuka. _

**_Reviews!_**

**-Hana**


	2. PoPiPo

_Hi, I'm back! I didn't expect this story to be so popular … wow! Thanks, guys!_

**Wreck – Leaving a GUMI at home isn't wise.**

* * *

Gumi sat on the floor of her gigantic room, hugging a white marshmallow pillow. She stared into space blankly, as if thinking of something important. Her phone rang beside her. Gumi picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Gumi?" Luka's concerned voice called from the other end, and splashing noises could be heard. Seems like they were at the beach. Childish. Gumi could hear some people screaming, too. Maybe they were playing. Childish.

"Yes, Luka?" Gumi asked dully.

"Are you okay there? You sure you aren't lonely?" Wow, Gumi thought, Luka sounds like a mother.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm … err … eating a sandwich while watching SpongeBob cook Krabby Patties." Gumi made up lamely. She threw her marshmallow pillow to her computer expertly and SpongeBob laughing noises filled the room. "See?"

Luka sounded hesitant. "That … makes me feel more worried about you, actually …" She mumbled and a loud splashing noise cut through. Luka screamed at someone. "HEY! GAKUPO! DON'T SPLASH WATER AT MY FREAKING PHONE, STUPID!" Gakupo could be heard screaming a sorry at Luka. Luka cleared her throat and returned to Gumi. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Gumi snorted. "Of course I am."

"Okay … bye … then …" Luka hung up. Gumi stared at her phone and placed it nicely on her bed, staring at her computer while humming along with a random SpongeBob song.

BEEEEP! BEEEEP!

GUMI Megpoid hyper attack alert!

BEEEP! BEEEEEEEP!

GUMI Megpoid hyper attack alert!

Humans and objects within 100 m distance with GUMI Megpoid are advised to avoid GUMI Megpoid!

BEEEEEEEEP!

GUMI Megpoid hyper attack alert!

Gumi threw herself on her bed and grabbed a random piece of paper. She peered at it and grinned creepily. It was revealed to be a Rin photo when Gumi flipped it over. "Rin Chan~~" Gumi drooled, hugging the photo while rolling around on her bed.

She soon got bored of it and flung it to one side, grabbing a random plush toy. She stared at it and realized it was a Miku toy she secretly won at a summer festival. "Miku Chan~~" Gumi squealed, lying on her back and staring at the toy. And then she threw it to the corner where Rin's photo lay.

Gumi hopped onto her desktop and grabbed a Luka poster. "YAAAAY LUKA!" She slammed her toe expertly on the keyboard and Luka music started to play. "JUST BE FRIENDS, ALL WE GOTTA DO, JUST BE FWIIIIEEEENDDSSS!"

* * *

Gumi's neighbors covered their ears. "Seriously, what is this girl so obsessed about?" The mother screamed over the noise.

"I don't know!" The father shouted back. "I think it's another GUMI song!"

The daughter wagged a finger. "No, no, no! It is a Megurine Luka song!" She was the only one who wasn't affected by the noise. "It's called Just Be Friends!" And then she made the noise worst by screaming along.

"GO CLOSE THE WINDOW!" The parents ordered.

The daughter unwillingly went to the window and slammed it shut, and the house immediately went quiet.

* * *

Gumi ran around the room, Miku's Popipo blaring from her speakers this time. "PO PIPO PO PI PO! PO PIPO PO PI PO! PO PIPO PO PI PO! PO PIPO PO PI PO! PO PIPO PO PI PO! PO PIPO PO PI PO! PO PIPO PO PI PO! PO PIPO PO PI PO! PO PIPO PO PI PO! PO PIPO PO PI PO! PO PIPO PO PI PO! PO PIPO PO PI- WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" She squawked, dancing along weirdly.

She didn't know that, actually, Luka didn't hang up and was still listening.

* * *

Luka listened on as Gumi shrieked the lyrics of Popipo worriedly. "Oh gosh," She mumbled, ("Soiya-soiya!") "Gumi is a little too lonely, I think." ("Dosee-Dosee!") Luka placed her palm on her cheek. "Maybe we shouldn't have left her alone."

* * *

_This chapter was random, it is about nothing, it wasn't supposed to make sense, so if you didn't understand this, it is okay because you're not supposed to~! Every chapter will be as random as this, I think. Luka obviously thought that Gumi got mad due to loneliness._

**Reviews, please!**

_-Hana_


	3. Commercials

_I feel … loved._

**Wreck – Reasons why you shouldn't leave a GUMI Megpoid alone in your house.**

DISCLA!MER: I DON'T OWN OLD SPICE

* * *

Gumi flopped on the sofa, a bowl of ice cream on her hands. She grabbed the TV remote nearby and switched on the TV. A random commercial began rolling. Gumi made a face at it.

"Gah, commercials. I wanted to watch the real show!" Gumi complained between a big bite out of her ice cream, but watched the commercial anyway, in case the minute she changes the channel her show would come in. (This happens to me so many times it's sad)

A man Gumi recognized as Terry Crews was on the screen, holding some bottle and animated trees and a sun were behind him in the background. "Odor blocker body wash is so powerful it can block B.O for 16 hours!" He was saying – wait, no, screaming. "IT'S SO POWERFUL IT CAN TURN OFF THE SUN!" Crews barked as the screen went black.

Gumi gawked at the television screen. "What the hell –"

"But then it gets too cold!" Crews' voice continued. "SO IT MAKES ANOTHER SUN." The screen brightened and it showed Crews and the same background, only with another sun.

Gumi blinked, the spoon dropping back into the bowl with a clang. "What the hell is going on?!" She muttered as she emptied the bowl.

"DOUBLE SUN POWAAAAR!" He shouted, as the suns grew bigger until the animated trees exploded. And then the bottle he was holding earlier kind of burst through the screen and he sang, "PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA POWER!" And those 'bsshhhh' noises finished the commercial.

"Well, I'm glad that was over." Gumi said, relieved. But Crews' voice came shrieking from the speakers once more, and Gumi groaned, setting down her bowl on a nearby table.

"Old Spice odor blocker body wash!" Crews bellowed, and the word 'ODOR' appeared everywhere as he smashed them all.

"BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK!" A tiny him appeared and helped him butt-smash another word, shouting a teeny midget "BWACK!"

Gumi cheered for midget Terry Crews.

And then Crews continued shouting. "BLOCK! BLOCK! BLA-BLA-BLA-BLA-BLOOOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK! BLOCK OVER FOR 16 HOUUUURSSS!" His abs (what) wiggled weirdly.

"EWWWW!" Gumi shouted, finding her voice.

"PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA POWER!" And then the same 'bsshhhh' sounds ended the Old Spice! Commercial.

"I'M OUT!" Gumi squawked, turning off the telly and dashing to her room in top speed. "That thing is damn scary, oh my god!"

* * *

The father frowned, pricking up his ears as he tried his best to eavesdrop. "Was out neighbor watching Old Spice ads?" He asked his clever wife who was watching the very commercial on the TV bemusedly.

"I think so," She said distractedly, her eyes literally bulging as she ogled at the television screen, "I didn't see this kind of shit before." She muttered to herself.

"I watched that before." The daughter sniffed. "It was scary. Wasted ten minutes of my life and all, I lost my voice for an hour. Daddy, do you remember the day when I couldn't talk throughout dinner?"

Her father nodded, rubbing his non-existent beard. "They must be scary …" He jabbed a thumb at his daughter's head, "Daughter, I order you to show me one of those commercials. Now!"

The daughter shook her head childishly, her arms hugging her laptop. "No way! Daddy, you'll be petrified! Look at Mummy!" She tilted her head vigorously towards her mother who was trembling on the floor, hugging her knees, and mumbling gibberish.

Her father still shook his head no, and threatened to confiscate her laptop if she didn't show him. So, with a loud sigh, his daughter clicked away on her computer and shoved the laptop into her father's face, walking away to the toilet.

* * *

Gumi dialed Miku's number on her phone, a devious smile on her face, although she was still shaking a little. Miku's melodious voice erupted from the phone.

"Hello?"

Gumi smirked somewhat evilly. "Miku, did you watch Old Spice commercials before?"

* * *

_And the chapter ends here. Don't watch Old Spice commercials please. Once again, this chapter _wasn't supposed to make sense. _So don't waste your precious time trying to find out the meaning behind this. :D_

**Reviews, please!**

_-Hana_


End file.
